God's Girl

No greater love than the love of God
No greater peace than knowing God
No bigger dream than serving God

I am soo thankful for everything God has done in my life.
He has blessed me with so many things.
I am so proud to be God's Girl!

PROUD TO BE GOD'S GIRL

Lord i ask that you work on my heart and let me become more like the person you designed for me, i am so happy how i am but i know there is room for improvement. Open the eyes of my heart Lord, i want to serve you. All glory be to you Father. I am open to you.
Your Girl.
~Kelly~

Going Going..

I am soooo happy.

In the morning i am going to stay with Lami, i long for the cuddles from my bestfriend. To be able to sit down and watch chick flicks, cuddle, talk..

Me love the time we spend together.. YAY

Me gonna be happy, smiling, me get to see Lami.

Daniel, he is a beautiful boy, he is growing into such a caring man..

And Noodles, well she gettign such a 'tude.. LOL

Yay.. i will be with my family soon

Ouch

My Belly hurt.
It hurts REAL BAD!!
Me in pain.
Me feel sad =(

Fear

At the moment i'm down in the dumps, had enough and just wanna cry! I have this fear about leaving Lachlan in the room unattended, mainly because it faces onto the footpath. A fear that i will oneday go away and won't be an issue but it is. Today it's even stronger, last nighti had a dream. I was with my friend from High school Hope, and she was pushing the pram with Lachie in it. When i went to get him he was gone..

I full on went crazy, but foun him about an hour later at the library we had been in. =(

So stuck in my head again is the fear of my son disappearing. since i had him i was judged for not putting him in his room to nap by my sister and mom. But no one has ever bothered to ask why.. The fear has just been there unknown to others coz they to busy being bitchy about me. Today my bestfriend said something that i took offense to, instead of explaining i stomped off and appeared offline instead of staying to explaining to her..

Sorry Princess

Forgive me?????????

About Me

Full Name: Kelly Anne Griffiths
D.O.B: 16~08~85
P.O.B: Adelaide, Lywell McEwin Hospital
Parents: Julie & Barry
Siblings: Terry & Tammy
Work: Lachlan =)
Cried during a Movie: yes
Had a crush on a teacher: Yes
Happy color: Yellow
Day or Night: Day because i don't like the unknown
Fav season: Autum & spring
Fav Food: Chinese
Yourself: Most of the time
Friends: YES!!!!
God/Jesus: Yes, no doubt about it
Angels: yes!!!!!
Heaven: yep definently!!!!
Who do you go to for advice: Lami
Who do you cry with: Lami
Boyfriend/Girlfriend? nope
Crush: Nope..
Cheated on anyone: Yes
Would you cheat again : NOO
Ever regretted going out with someone: YES
Bitch about someone: Yep
What's the best feeling in the world: Giving Birth
Worst Feeling: Broken Heart

Think about it

Think about it..

wanna share what u think i am saying?

Crystal Tears

I want my BEST FRIEND, I need my soul sista'!!

Lami i need a cuddle

TIRED OF THE TEARS

I just want to cry. I have had enough.. sick of them all. My sister is thinkin about tellin me to get out her life. true what they say, chew ya up and spit you out. Even ya own family.

*puts head in knees and sobs from the heart*

Happy Birthday

Today i turned 20 years old.. wOOt..
Happy birthday to me!!!

On a serious note, a birthday again had me sitting back evaluating myself.
My fears, my life and my priorities.
Then also the same thing that has popped into my head for the last few days, i make event a time to commit to something.

Many people including me fall into the trap of making an event a reason to stop or start something, we take our eyes off of Jesus and focus on a date/day because it's convieniant for us. This birthday i am making one choice and that is to do away with the event commiting and start doing things for Jesus.

He loves me so much HE died for ME.
That's big enough to motivate me.. any day!

Goodbye Teens!!

Who You Are

I read a blog tonight which made me humble myself, it spoke to me more than i would like it to..

The blog entry was about making things our God, putting things before God and loving things more than God. To my surprise my eyes were opened up to a few area's in my life where I make the choice for other things to be above my Father. One of which is the internet, which was very evident in my day today. I went to come online and my computer wouldn't start, i got angry and the longer it wouldn't work the more annoyed i got. I ended up punching it because it wasn't doing what i wanted it to do.

The computer is something i unfortunatly spend to much time on, i find shame in admitting that i am addicted to the net. I am up to all hours doing odd bits and pieces online, and my family are the people that suffer. I get quick tempered and irritable at the simplest things.

I cry out to God now with tears streaming down my face, help me Father. I am lost without you. I am so sorry i have made the internet my God, and have always had time to be online and still say i was to tired to pray. You made me unique and have plans for my life.

I have used the internet to escape many things in my life, get away from arguments, people in the house and the real world. I see my ways are wrong, and i know i need to change them now before things get out of control. Not only do i want to get things right but i know i need to set an example for my son, and that includes self control, going to God, and dealing with issues.

God made me unique, he made me Kelly and he had me whole. He gave me the freedom of choice and the knowledge of right and wrong. I have chosen the wrong the path and have seen the mistakes i have made, i am running back to God and asking him to restore me to the Kelly he made.

Future

I look at these pictures and my heart beats faster, I long for to adopt a child just like one of these gorgeous children.

God, you have been so HUGE, even when i never seen it. I am so greatful.

I have always had a dream of adopting a black child. NOT BECAUSE I AM RACIST, I am far from it.

I just have a passionate heart when it comes to black children, i see them equal to the every one else and i want them in my family too. I would never just adopt white children to make them look like more or nuffin. But because i wat to show a child i love them, i want to be a mom to them, i want to care for them, wipe their noses when thay have colds, and put a bandaid on their scraped knee.

My heart desires this, i see in my past, God has worked in my life. Not only was i engaged to the wrong guy at 17, i was engaged to someone who had been in Jail. God knew he was the wrong one, he knew about my ex's past, and he knew about the PCOD. If i has of stayed with Russell i would never have the chance of adopting. Not with his criminal history..

All glory be to God, Lord, i give you all my praise.

This was written 0n spot about my future Husband

I am here waiting for the man
My Father is preparing,
As He prepares our hearts
And cleans our lives,
I'll Be dreaming of my husband tonight.

I will go to bed and say my prayers,
For the family we are going to have,
and the love that we will share.

God is preparing my heart just for you
I'm open to the Father,
And am trusting Him with you.

Each day i love you more
even though i cannot see your face,
your personality is a mystery
But i know your a man of faith.

Tonight i go to bed Trusting,
and am open to change,
God be willing -
I'll see you soon.


I need my husband to have our family together. Oh Lord, i am excited

Be Yourself

Ever lose track of things, wonder who you are and where you belong ? Maybe ya don't feel like you fit in, your not good enough. God never made YOU to be a second rate version of someone else, and nor did He make you to fit into the mould society has made. I urge you to be who you are and love yourself, If God wanted another Jane, Bob or Bill down the road he would of made one, but her never, He made You.
You were NOT made a car, made to please human. You are not unbreakable, you are allowed to crack. God does not look on your body for beauty, he looks at your heart - where true beauty lies. The human eye is to egar to look on the human body, judge beauty by looks.
Constantly i hear people telling me how they are ugly, fat and don't look good. They want to look like the people that society has painted, i want to be skinny, i want big breast, a tight buttocks and looks to dies for. Not only do many girls torture themselves with this kind of thinking, they do all they can to succeed. Not long after they are finally get what they want, their face gets wrinkles, their breast begin to sag and they put on weight again.
Why is it us humans are never pleased with our looks ?

Society continues to knock us down, many of us don't bother to get up and fight for what we know is right. We get down and depressed, bottle feelings up and refuse help. When society knocks you to your knees, you are in the position to pray, why what the heck - why not ?

Call out to God and tell him what is on your mind, ask him to feel your heart. You may not understand whats going on but God does. Ask his for help, your his precious child.

The truth is your TRUE friends would much prefer to know the real you and love u for the inside.

Don't pretend to be who your not, you do yourself no justice!

Luggage

Would ya'll just like to have cute Luggage like my son Lachlan? It would certainly be a bit more of an inspiration to treat ya stuff with more care. Instead most of the time i pick up my suitcase and throw it in the boot of the car! squash it in there somewhere!!

I was in Loxton when i got this photo taken of my son, there were 6 poses and i got them all. Do i spend my money wisely? well not always, but i think i done the right thing by getting the lot.

I always have memories but i don't have the ability to invite someone into my mind to view all my memories and special moments. Yes, i am a girl who likes to show off my son, i think he is cute and he is a huge part of my life :)

He's just too cute for words.
He is a true inspiration.

Best Friends

In the picture above is my bestfriend Lami and myself.

Our friendship is basically indescribable, we share a connection as friends that I haven't shared with anyone before. We seem to know how each other feels without saying a word, sometimes being able to feel the emotional pain of of each other.

We have been friends for 20 months, but the 20 months we have been friends for it has felt like a life time. Shared laughter, tears, embarrassing moments, faith etc... We don't really fight, but talk about everything. Disagree, because we are different people with different personalities, and we are both too stubborn for our own Good.

Lami is my best friend, not only do I love her with my heart because of who she is, I love watching who she is becoming. When we first meet it was a matter of Lami feeling as though she has to be strong for me, little did she know at the time it's her trials and triumphs that make me admire her. Her smile and her tears.

I praise God everyday, for He hasn't only given me a friend, He has given me a soul sista and someone I can look up to. I know you'll see this some time Princess, I love you!!

Princess

I talk to alot of young teenage girls who think they are unworthy of the title "Princess", and unworthy to be treated as such. Just recently i was talking to a young girl and called her a Princess, she was so excited that i called her a Princess. She told me it made her feel so special and no one had ever called her a Princess before and meant it.

I smiled as i read her message, knowing that i had made her smile and lifted her mood, even if it was just a while. It took me 10 minutes to write a message to this girl and has started a converstaion that will impact her for what i pray will be a lifetime.

The first person i recall calling me Princess and meaning it, was my bestfriend Lami. She called me a Princess and i freaked out, i didn't want to believe what she was saying. I felt dirty, unworthy and was very depressed. It was a time in my life where i was not walking with God and couldn't see hope.

Now i love being called Princess, it makes me go all warm a squishy. I know that i am worthy to be called a Princess and to be treated like a Princess, i actually would stand for nothing less than Princess treatment.

How often we stumble is not written down on a piece of paper for God to use against you, nor does He wish to. Your past is not something to be used against you, you can be forgiven - all you have to do is be sorry and ask God to forgive you. Nothing you do will make God close the door on you, you don't have to do anything to make him love you - he does uncondionally. There is nothing you can do to make him love you more.

Every girl is a Princess and every boy a prince, no matter how old ya are, no matter how much you have messed up in life. Once you have repented, your forgiven and been washed clean. We all make mistakes, we all stumble - it's not how many times we stumble, how many times and why we get up again.


"You may not know what your future holds...but you can know who holds your future"

Lachlan

I look at my son with his big brown eyes, smile and adorable dymples. He looks at his Mama with so much love and admiration, he makes my heart beat faster.

Before i feel pregnant i was depressed, suicidal, and withdrawn. I walked to the beach and fell on the sand and cried to God "Give me a reason i want not to kill myself, i wanna kill myself now". Instantly i felt God tell me i was pregnant.

At first i was in disbelief, and didn't think it was possible. I had waited so long to fall pregnant, it was my dream. A few days later i brought a home pregnancy test, and waited. I didn't take my eyes off the test and then the moment i went to look away i seen something change.

The test was positive, and i almost fell off the toilet. I went to the doctor and it was confirmed. I was just overwhelmed and so thankful!

I was 18, pregnant, single, and unemployed. Life was better than ever. I was happy, i was focused and stopped all self harm. I had a feeling i was gonna have a baby boy. And i did. Lachlan Scott was born on the 19th september 2004.

Recently i was looking through a baby name website and seen Lachlan written, meaning : from the lake.
When i concieved Lachlan it was at a park with a little lake, when i God told me i was pregnant, i was at the pool (which for us is a salt water lake.

I never knew the meaning until not long ago. Everyday i get signs from God that my little man was a miracle. A gift from God. I cannot be happier with my life at the moment, i can feel God moving in my life, my son is healthy and we are both very happy.

I do not worry about my future, for i know whatever happens i know it is in God's plan.

Do not be anxious about anthing, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. - Philippians 4:6

Lachlan Scott's Arrival

I was four days overdue and startin' to get impatient, i just wanted to hold my baby & look into his eyes. I wanted to see that my precious boy was healthy. The pregnancy got difficult towards the end with complications. My sister and niece and i headed to the Foodland to do the shopping about 8.30am.. By 9am i was feeling slight little pains, but thinking it'd be too good to be true, so kept shopping! We got home about lunch time and ate. After lunch i was getting annoyed because i couldn't sit down, stand in one place or lay down coz it was uncomfy down there. I proceeded to tell my sister quiete calmly that i thought i was in labor, she was not impressed i hadn't told her earlier but proceeded to ring the hospital. Tammy spoke to my doctor's husband (who obviously is a dr too) and told him and he said he could come out and do an internal. I refused to see a male doctor and requested my doctor.

I rang my bestfriend Lami and mom to let them know what was happening.I went up to the hospital where Dr Lisa examined me and said i was 3 cm dialated and i could go home and to come back when the pain got too much. So i went home and went for a walk around the town, came home and played Yahtzee. A few hours passed and the contractions were about a minute apart, but hey i wanted to finish my game of yahtzee! I had only just told Tammy when the phone rang! My doctor rang the hospital to see if i had been back, when they said no she demanded they ring me! Tammy told them my contractions were a minute apart and they told me to come up right away, so i had to leave my game!!

Lisa examined me again and broke the waters about 9pm.I paced the floor, and read some magazines. Everytime a contraction would come, i looked Tammy in the eye till it passed. Around 11pm the pain was getting stronger and i was feeling the contractions, the nurses had swap over though so i went to ring mom. They moved me to the labour ward about 12.15am, i headed straight for the shower. I came out in those sexy little gowns they give ya!! The midwife put the trace on and i stayed for about an hour. The pain was getting stronger and i had this midwife telling me to bounce on a ball, she was soo persistant and i felt like sticking the thing where the sun don't shine! I finally annoyed her enough and she left.I headed back for a shower, quiete happy there was just Tammy & i alone. I came back out and tried to find some decent music to listen to, surprise there was none! I got back on the bed and talked to Tammy.

Around 1.45am i decided to try the gass, and it never done a thing other than give me head spins. I was tired and worried i would have an epileptic seizure. I agreed to a small peth shot about 2.15am, once i had that i drifted for about 20 minutes. I woke up and rushed to the toilet, i sat on the bed talking to tammy for a while and then told the midwife it was time to push, she insisted it wasn't. I demanded she go get the other midwife, and she did, they done the internal and go " you can start pushing". i felt like poking fun at the stupid one!

One midwife ran of to call the doctor and the other stayed with me. I began pushing at 3.20am, once i began pushing i let go of my sisters hand and held the rail on the bed (for her sake)! The doctor came in right in the middle of the third push, soon as she took a look she called Tammy to have a look. Then i seen her look again and say "somethings gonna give", straight away i knew she meant i would tear! I screamed NOOOO but it was too late. Lachlan Scott slid into the world at 3.48am, Sunday the 19th of September 2004.They threw him straight onto me. I gave him a cuddle and they took him to clear his mouth etc.. My sister looked like she was gonna pass out.

I done the whole placenta thingy! It was huge it took up the whole dish!! Lisa checked Lachlan over and told me that he was perfect, they handed him to my sister to have a cuddle. Midwifes dried him whilst the dr looked over me, she put my legs up in styrups and proceeded to tell me it was worse than she thought and she'd have to stitch, then gave me a needle so i wouldn't feel it! Lisa stitched me for a good hour and half, the deadner happened to wear off for the last few stitches and it totally hurt worse than labor!! I got in my wheelchair and Lachie and i went to the room, i went in for a quick shower and came out.The midwife brought in the scales and asked me how much i thought Lachlan weighed, i said 8'3. We popped him on the scales and he weighed 10'5. I laughed to myself and thought about my bestfriend tormenting me the whole time i was pregnant saying Lachlan would be huge.

Lachlan Scott Griffiths

D.O.B: Sunday 19th September 2004

T.O.B: 3.48am

Weight:10'5

Length: 53cm

Head: 34cm

No i didn't swear, no i never screamed, and nope i never cried with pain. This girl has a high pain tolerance!!Tho' i have to admit, pain killers weren't my thing. But Prayer was the top of the list.

God is better than Panadol - He relieves the pain!