Hurting

It hurts so much!

I knew moving was going to be hard on me emotionally because i love my family sooo much it, I'm so used to having them all right here beside me. Now they won't be beside me i will be in another town, granted it's not that far away but i will miss them so much.

I can't stop crying when i think of Leaving them, i know it's just me adjusting but it hurts. I feel like a baby for being so fragile and weak. I know they don't treat me like i deserve most the time. But right now the pain remains.

I will miss Emily and the way she runs up the drive way screaming my name, the way she cries when they try and take her home, and they occassion real hugs and kiss she gives me.

I will miss Charlotte, her cheeky little smile when ya tell her she's a beutiful little girl, her bright eyes and little laugh.

I will miss John comin in to tease mom about the football, him playing with the toys and just general conversations i have with him.

I will miss Charli, just for her. She has only just started to get to know the family and i have alot to learn about her yet =)

I will miss Mom, although she can be a cow and not very supportive at times. I love her with an unconditional love that just can never be broken. I will miss her company, watchin T.V with her and talking.

I will miss Tammy, even though we fight alot. She will always be my big sister. I will miss walking down the street with her and the kids, going to the shop, and talking.

I will miss Terry coz he is my big bro. I love Terry so much it hurts, we have always been close but as we have grown up we have communicated more, which it good.

I already miss Dad, so there isn't much to say there. I had to kind of adapt. But i will be home on the weekends he is anyhoo =)

Tammy sent me a message saying that she is crying and is going to miss Lachie, though it never mentioned me surprise =( It don't matter anyway, ever since Robert came on the scene again it was like there was no more room for me, now Andrea is in her life, there is plenty of room for her though.

It's not so much of a jealousy, just me missing being part of Tammy's life and being annoyed she has time for other people and not me.

I know that i am going to see all these people again on a regular basis. I will come home and stay and hopefully they might even come and stay with us (if Lami says yes =P)...LOL

I need people to be understanding though, this is all new to me. I have never lived away from home. Never been away from home for a huge period of time, so i am gonna be emotional, i am gonna cry and i will be okay in the end.

But for now, please be here to support me. I need soft right now, not tough. I need a hug *looks around*. I need to go to bed and get some sleep.