Spirtually starving

One Way

I lay my life down at Your feet
Cause You're the only one I need
I turn to You and You are always there
In troubled times it's You I seek
I put You first that's all I need
I humble all I am all to You
One way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
You are always, always there
Every how and everywhere
Your grace abounds so deeply within me
You will never ever change
Yesterday today the same
Forever till forever meets no end
You are the Way the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight for You
We're living all for You

Today i danced around singing along to One Way. I danced with spring in my step and joy in my voice, i felt the freedom Christ has given my. I looked at my son as he sat on the floor applauding me and my dancing and tears streamed down my face.

My heart longed to feel this freedom at all time, to be able to sing with such joy and dance with a spring infront of people and at a church. I am not embarrassed to worship God, i am proud. But i feel there is something holding me back, and that something is fear. I am fearful of what people will think of my singing and probably my dancing to. I know i can overcome this though.

I am about to embark on a new journey, moving out of home. I move out of the home where i spent my childhood and where i do find security at times, into a new home with my best friend and her beautiful children. I leave childhood behind and welcome womanhood completely.

I am about to start life walking on the right path, thanks to the generousity of my sister Lami and the plan of my Heavenly Father. I will start a church and have a church family, my first "real" church. All my life i have grown up in a town where i can't go to church, we were taken to a catholic one when we were children on occasions such as funerals, marriages and christenings. I have never belonged to a church or had a church family- so i'm very excited.

I hunger to learn more and more about Christ, want to be more like Jesus and i want to be so much more. There is so much i am yet to understand, so much more i can know and will learn in time!

I want to experience living life to the full and i want my son to experience it aswell. Lachlan deserves to see his Ma on fire for Christ, so he can learn and be feed spiritually.

Lord,
I thank you for the life you have given me and my son, i thank you for freedom you gave us. I thank you that my sins have been paid for! I ask that if there is any leaf left unturned in my garden of sin Lord, which i know there is that you reveal them to me one by one so i can repent and learn a different way if i have not done so. You have blessed me so much with the provisions in my life, and i am here to serve you. I open my arms and ask that you use me to serve you in any way i can. I also ask that you work on my heart, help heal the wounds and work through my issues.
I love you Lord, i always will.
Amen



I'm absolutely convinced that nothing--nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable--absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.
Romans 8:38-39 (The Message)

Blast From The Past

I was tagged and this is my answer- No i'm not obsessed about sex, a relationship, naked men or anything like that.
(oh thanks, look what my sentence happened to be)

Wanna play?
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five people to do the same.

If you're reading this consider yourself tagged :)

About Me

Name: Kelly Anne Griffiths
Nickname: Keggy,Kel, Kelz, Bross, Do do
Birthday: 16th August 1985
Birthplace: Adelaide, South Australia, Australia

-:-Now-:-
Current mood: Tired
Current music: Eye Of A Tiger
Current taste: Chicken Twisties
Current hair: Blonde with Black streakz
Current clothes: Board shorts and singlet top
Current annoyance: Bad parents shifting the blame
Current smell: Sea Breeze
Current thing I ought to be doing: getting an early night
Current desktop picture: a rose that i have posted on here already :)
Current book: Every Young Womans Battle
Current cd in stereo: Barlow Girl
Current crush: My future Husband (no i don't know him.. yet)
Current favorite celeb: Jesus

-:-Do I-:-
Smoke?: No
Have sex?: Nope
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: Nope
Read the newspaper?: No
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: Yes
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Absolutely
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: Yes
Consider love a mistake?: Nooo
Like the taste of alcohol?: Nope
Have a favorite candy?: Nope
Believe in astrology?: No
Believe in magic?: No. I believe in Miracles though which are different
Have any pets: 1 Turtle Shayley
Go to or plan to go to college: Nope
Have any piercings?: Tongue and ears
Have any tattoos?: no but i want 2 that aren't in sight
Hate yourself: no
Have an obsession?: no
Have a best friend?: Lami
Wish on stars?: No but star Gaze
Care about looks?: no

-:- L-O-V-E L-I-F-E -:-
First crush: Ryan Kanopoly (yr 7)
First kiss: My Dad
Single or attached?: single
Ever been in love?: No, i'd call it lust
Do you believe in love at first sight?: I believe it is possible, but not necessarily true. depends on God's Plan
Do you believe in "the one"?: Yes, Absolutly

-:-Appearance-:-
Hair: Long, Blonde with Black steaks
Eyes: Blue

-:-Last thing you-:-
Bought: hamburger for my friend for tea
Ate: Chicken Twisties
Drank: water
Read: A text message
Watched on TV: All saints

-:-EITHER / OR-:-
Club or houseparty: House Party, unless it was a Christian club
Cats or dogs: Dog
Pen or pencil: Pen
Food or candy: Food
Cassette or cd: CD
This or that: whatever

-:-Who do you want to-:-
Kill: No. Life is very precious. Though at times i do think about it
Look like: Me
Be like: Jesus
Avoid: Ppl who hurt me

-:-Last person you-:-
Talked to: Terry (brother)
Hugged: Lachlan
Instant messaged: Lami
Kissed: Lachlan

-:-Where do you-:-
Eat: Computer, Table, Street
Cry: With Lami, In room, when i am alone
Wish you were: already moved out starting life as an independant woman

-:-Have you ever-:-
Dated one of your best friends? Yes, and ended with us not talkin'
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry? Yes
Drank alcohol? Yes
Broken the law? Yes, Graffiti once when i was 16
Run away from home? yeah
Broken a bone? yes. Arms, fingers,toes and foot
Played Truth Or Dare?: Yes
Kissed someone you didn't know?: Yes unfortunatly i have
Been in a fight?: yeah
Come close to dying?: So close i have been dead and revived (yes i'm serious)

-:- What is -:-
The most embarrassing CD in your collection?: I'm not embarassed by the stuff i like, we are all different.
Your bedroom like?: Bright, kinda empty coz of moving

-:- Random Questions -:-
What's on your bedside table?: Nappies
What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?: fruit
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?: The Passion
If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?: *Blushes*
What is your biggest fear?: My son being in pain or dying and being helpless
What features are you most insecure about?: eyebrows & nose
Do you ever have to beg?: NOOOOO and wouldn't. hello Princess of THE King here!!
Are you a pyromaniac?: Looks Angelik *who me*
Do you have too many love interests?: No
Do you know anyone famous?: Only Jesus
Describe your bed: Big, comfortable, bright and warm
Spontaneous or plan: Spontaneous
Do you know how to play poker? No and don't want to
What do you carry with you at all times?: My wallet
What do you miss most about being little?: The feeling of being able to close your eyes when your afraid and cuddle into the person who makes you feel secure. Feeling free to be afraid and want comfort, being able to admit it.
Are you happy with your given name?: Yes i am happy with it. It is common but my parents were blessed with a baby girl and i am honoured to hold the name they chose.
How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?: It wouldn't take money, it would take for God to call me somewhere else.
What color is your bedroom?: Blue walls with a red ceiling
What was the last song you were listening to?: Eye of the Tiger
Have you ever been in a play?: Yes, I was embarrassed too
Best friend?: Lami
Do you talk a lot?: If i know the person/people. If i am in new surroundings with new ppl i can be VERY shy
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?: Yes, but do have negative moments
Do you think you're cute: I can be pretty
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?: Of Course
What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands?: What kind of childhood they had

Lachlan Birthday

Lachlan's Birthday Poem

Lachlan Scott

I remember the night you were born,
when i held you close in my arms.
I thanked God for my precious gift,
a beautiful baby son.

Tears rolled from my eyes,
As i looked at my little boy.
A head full of dark hair,
and beautiful eyes.

Your Mama's Little Buddy,
A miracle in my eyes.
A reminder of God's presence,
And movement in my life.

Every time I see you smile,
It brings joy to my heart.
I watch you in hysterics,
As you throw your head back and laugh.

Your laughter is music to my ears,
Always something Mama love's to hear.
You have a gentle kiss and unconditional love,
Your Mama's little boy sent from Heaven above.

Little things excite you,
You remind me how free kids should be.
You inspire me to be myself.
Instead of worrying about everything worldly.

I love your big dymples and beautiful smile
Your chubby little hands too,
Your big brown eyes melt Mama's heart
My special little boy, I love you!

Above all I only have to look at you,
Your mama's pride and joy.
I thank God every day for my miracle,
My special little boy.

Precious Moments

On a rare occassion is my Dad well enough to play with the kids, so tonight when he picked Lachlan up off the floor and sat him on his lap, it was a truely heart touching moment.
These pictures bring tears to my eyes because they are so special to me!
My Dad is a huge part of my life, even though the illness has changed his appearance and his personality, from time to time we get a little climpse of Dad's heart. I know thats still the same..

Betrayed

There was a thump of the door, and then i seen his face.
The man that sexually abused me, once again standing right before me.
I was overcome with emotion, I was scared, hurt, heart broken and angry.
I was on MSN and frantically typing to my best friend and friend.
Getting mixed reactions from both people, but support from both as well.

I was talking alot, holding back the tears until I was alone in the room.
Tears flowed down my face and i finally gave into crying.
Prayers must of come through, because i suddenly feel alot more peaceful.

God has given me the ability finally accept the fact that i will never understand the mind of my family. I am still working through the fact that it hurts, and God is going to help me deal with these issues one step at a time.

I'm not strong, i am so weak. I find strength in Christ!
Honestly without Christ i couldn't cope with everything that is going on in my life at the moment.
Recently my life has been like a soap opera, only much worse.
Unlike television the pain is real!


My family betrays me, and they do know what they do. Knowingly they repeatively act in an inconsiderate way and it hurts me. I am a person who believe loyalty is very important in any relationship, i hold loyalty to them down to the ground, but they have no loyalty toward me.

I thank God for loving me and for the knowledge He will never abandon me or betray me.
I praise God for the people he has put in my life to help me deal with things.
I thank God for my life and for free will.

My actions will determine MY future

September 11th

It was 11.27pm when my eyes were drawn to the time on the computer, i slowly watched as time ticke over to September the 11th.

4 years ago a tragic event of september took place, innocent people killed, average people stood up and helped save live and the nations united. You could feel the love as people drew together to help and pray.

Today i have spent time in prayer for everyone effected by september the 11th and remberance for those who perished. As i cleaned my room i reached into a bag where i found a letter from a friend, this letter was written just after the twin tower incident.

I was 16 and a baby christian, he was 18 with a strong relationship with Christ. He spoke of how desensitsed he felt to what had happened. Then also wrote "everyone else bought my act of being okay, no one bothered to look behind the mask. how did you know". To be honest i don't know how i knew Chris wasn't okay, i just took the time to speak to him, and look into his eyes. Then i took the time to find out what was going on. In life many of us walk by people not taking notice of who they are or even take the time to second guess if they are okay. It takes a tragedy for someone to stand and take notice.


Many brave men and women gave up their time, money and some even their lives to reach out a resue others. Wouldn't it be good if everyday we had the same heart as when tradgedy occurs, it would make the world so much better.

Lord,
Today i have spent time remembering those who perished in the tragedy of the twin towers. Men, women and children died, not only was that tragic enough but it sent a wave of pain, shock and devastation around the world.
Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, friends all lost loved ones. The deaths of those they loved changing their live forever.
People came together to pray Father, and rejoiced in the life that was found. We grieved for strangers. My hearts desire is to see the world unite, see each person love one another and care about what happens to them.
Be with all all the people that were touched by this Lord, especially the ones who lost loved ones.
In Jesus name,
Amen

Battle

It had been a while since i picked up a book, so today i was inspired to read, I am guessing it was God.
I chose this book, because as much as i like to think i can do without reading it- i can't.

I have a desire to not only remain abstient from sex,but to maintain a pure heart and also pure thoughts. Recently i can admit, my thoughts have slipped backwards recently.

No i'm not obsessed about sex, a relationship, naked men or anything like that. However i have thought about a guy in an inappropriate way.

I am more than aware that my thoughts aren't pure and i need to stop them. I can't do it by my own strength but i can with the strength of Jesus. That is why i have started to pray about my thoughts, talk to my non christian friends about Jesus more and my morals and read this book.

I find no shame in admitting that i have been struggling with this for about 6 months, I'm not proud of my thoughts, but i am proud of myself for being able to stand and be real. To show other christians i do struggle like any other human being, i'm not gonna hide this struggle but share it.

The other day i read a christian avatar that said do not pollute your mind. I found it to be very eye opening. Look at the world we live in today, sex is on television as if it is a general activity to take part in, people have sex on trains infront of people, and people are easily exposed to sexual material.

I know it takes a choice. I know i am forced to make a choice not to look in the direction of the magazine when i got to the local petrol station because along side of the Cleo, Girlfriend and all the others is the pornography. I chose when i come on the internet not to look at pornography or sites that contain sexual material. We are all faced with little challenges in life, we are responsible for our choices. In a way the world is partly responsible for making the material available, but when you make the choice not to follow the crowd, you can stand proud.

So now i pick up the book and read again, knowing that i will find answers and comfort in knowing and reading stories from people who also struggle. I love being a real christian.

There is no shame in me.

Don't Take My Babes Away

My sister got a visit from the Welfare today.
She is an absolute mess.
It hurts that i can't take her pain away.
I know she needs help, she knows she needs help.
I just pray she can get some support.
Tammy tried to get into four different support programs after she had Charlotte, each one was rejected.

Yes she needs help with her mothering.
What makes me mad is that she asked for help.
The government rejected it because she was told she had a daughter and should know how to cope.








Lord,
I ask that you be with me and my family.
You know the situation, you know the emotions and you know how everyone is reacting to what has come into our lives.
Be with my sister and comfort her as she cries.
Help her see that there is no shame in getting help, and show her the correct way to deal with the pain.
Use me in whatever way you can Lord.
Amen

Beautiful

How beautiful. I love the picture and most of all i love what it says.
Thank You God for being the calm in my storm.

Broken

In order to live, we must love. When we love unfortunatly we do get hurt.
Whether we get hurt by something someone says, does or something else. In love there is hurt.

Last night my ma spoke to my Aunt on the phone, and i happened to be fixing myself a snack. She said that the guy who abused me as a child was here in our house enjoying coffee and cake with her when i was away. Right then i felt so alone, so betrayed and felt the pang of broken loyalty.

I wanted tso much to be a child again, so i could be comforted. I could cry and be scared, and i could be the one laying one someones lap while they held me close, stroked my hair and dried my tears. Instead i grabbed my half finished snack and stomped back to my computer crying not to cry.

I'm used to my family not being loyal to me, and i know it will happen again. Maybe next time it won't hurt so bad or maybe it will. I just long for the understanding , i wish i knew how my family could act the way they do.


With His perfect timing God taps me on the shoulder and tells me it's time to remove the bandaid, and allow myself to fall apart. Because the bandaid is holding brokeness, it's not healing the broken.

Healing will come with God.

Destructive

Wow.. fire.. I wonder how that started. *whistles innocently*

Lami was gonne use the iron after it went spaz so i murdered it =)

Ummm the cot wouldn't fold out soo Lami and i kind of killed it.

Bestfriend

I was going through some poems and i seen this one written By Amanda Kavin. I changed the names at the end of course, personal thing between my bestfriend and i. Princess this one makes me think of you.

My Best Friend

It wasn't long ago that I was another person

I was quiet and shut people out for no reason

I would smile but it wouldn't symbolize happiness

Then one day I met a friend that would soon be my best.

She made me happy and opened me up without even knowing

We always had so much fun, it was clear where this friendship was going

When I needed her the most she was always there

We always had so many laughs and cries to share.

Every time we talked or laughed the more we would bond

Girl, you know that you always have my shoulder to cry on

If only you knew how important you being my friend means to me

I hope that we are forever Bob and Larry.

Charli

The DNA test took ages to be done, but finally it was and the results came through last week. Terry is Charli's Dad. When he found out he was shaking and crying. We seen her today, i noticed everytime i looked up he was looking at her with a smile. She was shy to start with but settled with us quick. Terry missing her first birthday was important, and very sad. But He knows he is her Dad now and he has very many more to come. Don't they just look cute together. i couldn't be bothered setting the date on the camera so just ignore it.. LOL

Even dreams come true Daddy!