Laura

hey is this Laura from JSM or Laura from Adelaide that left a comment.
I can't believe lachie will be 3 this month either...
Man, they grow sooo fast...
how have you been

my life

It's been a long time since i posted a blog here, but i thought hey why not.
Never know whom may stumble across it.

My life at the moment.
I am currently 21 and my gorgeous son will soon be turning 3. (how time flies).
I still live in a suburb surrounding Adelaide.

I attend an awesome church that is full of life.
Each day i break through a fear, it's just a matter of pushing myself.

My son has alot of problems so to put it.
At the moment he is in speech therapy to help with his talking, as his speech is very limited.
The paediatrician thinks Lachlan may have Autism spectrum... but we will await a diagnosis.

My best friend is still as beautiful as ever, i love her as a sister.
Her 2 children are growing fast. Daniel now 13 and towering over me and Naomi 6..

My brother is doing well, working hard.. too hard.
His son John is now 8 and a keen footballer.
His Daughter Charli is turning 3 in august.

My sister is about 30 weeks pregnant now, due for her baby 10th september - just 9 days before Lachlan.
Her Daughters are doing well, both growing very fast.
Emily is 4.5 now, in kindy and just keeps growing!
Charlotte is 2 now, as cute as a button also..

I run the creche at a craft group that is held at our church.
Thats run, small group of children (lol) but i believe it will expand.
And even while it may be small there are important seeds being sown..

Moved to myspace

Hello everyone..
Just letting you know that i have moved my blog to myspace..
So feel free to add me if you know me, and if not i don't approve people with messaging them a few times to roughly know what they are like.


http://www.myspace.com/proud_to_be_gods_girl

I want to be

I want to be a

Woman of virtue
Singer of song
Woman of strength
Righter of wrong.

Gentle healer
Believing and wise
Woman of faith
Without compromise.

Giver of joy
Heart filled with love
Compassionate friend
Empowered from above.

Sower of peace
Weaver of song
Dancer of joy
Tender and strong.

Precious to the Father
Bride of the Son
Filled with the Spirit
Beloved one.

Lift

I know you're hurting
Feels like you're learning
'Bout life the hard way
And it ain't working
Seems like forever
That you've been falling
It's time to move on
Your life is calling, yeah

This was never meant to be the end
Close the book and start again

Cos i know how hard it can get
But you've gotta lift
you've gotta lift
And sometimes that's how it is
But i know you're stronger
Stronger than this
You've gotta lift
You've gotta lift

When you can feel your
Whole body's aching
What's left of your heart
It won't stop breaking
You've got to let go
you took a hit
Time to pick up now
move on from this


You've got to lift yourself up above all the hurt
Don't give in
Wipe your eyes and remember you're better than this
let them know that they took their best shot and they missed
Come on and lift

Pick up now...
Pick up now...

Landscape

Landscape
By Roy Lessin,Co-founder DaySpring Cards

Your life's like a landscape and God has the brush.
The work is in progress, He's not in a rush.
Each stroke has a purpose, nothing's by chance.
To see all His wisdom takes more than a glance.

Notice the sunbeams that shine on the dew --Even the clouds can't keep them from view.
Look at the pathway that turns at the hill --Its course will reveal what's next in His will.

The stream that's flowing with water so blue
Is bringing down blessings meant just for you.
The trees that are planted close to the stream
Will bring forth more fruit than you've ever seen.

The bird in the nest with mouth opened wide
Is just a reminder that God will provide.
Now look at the sheep in the meadow that's near
And notice the Shepherd that keeps them from fear.

He's brought them to pastures which give forth the best,
That cool and refresh, and keep them in rest.
The eagle above, that soars o'er the gale
Is God's way of saying, "My strength will not fail."

That part of the painting which now seems unclear
Will take on new meaning with each passing year.
So trust God to work in His own perfect way
And rejoice in the beauty He's painting today.




~I got this in an email sent to me from Daysprings Today, i think it's awesome so i just wanted to share. I hope you enjoy it. The person who wrote it is very talented~

Emotional

At the moment i can't help but feel sad.
I have so many emotions running around inside and yet i am so afraid to talk or think about what causes them.
I'm sitting here trying to fight back the tears, crying will just hurt me more and make the pain more obvious right now.
I just want to hide, sheild myself from the emotions.



When youre feeling low
Let me let you know,
That were all sad sometimes.
Jesus carries you,
Hes gonna see you through;
Hell never leave cause he loves you.
Oh, where do you hide your heart
Tell me, where do you hide your heart

~Amy Grant: Where Do You Hide Your Heart~

1 Year To Go

Yesterday I realised that it was exactly a year to the day that i plan on being married.
The wedding date set in place is 6th October 2007.

Still i find it hard to believe that in one year i will be married.
Not only will i be married but i will be married to the man God himself has for me.
I am nervous, but not in a bad way.
But in a way that this is all so new and will take getting used to.

I go about preparing for the wedding because i know that if i don't, by the time i get around to believing i am getting married it will be to late.
I so clearly haven't planned for a wedding before so this is all new.
Preparing for the wedding, the venues, dress etc..

I know in a year i have to face alot of changes.
I know there are some people i love that have to face alot of changes, and it is going to be tough.
Please keep me and my loved ones in your prayers as you read this.
Because our hearts need preparing.

Parents

It makes me so mad some parents can send their children dressed how they do.
Their are children in rags while their parents smoke pot, drink and gamble.
Then their are the little girls who have their bodies displayed to the world by their parents.
They don't need the bikini's, they don't need shorts as small as their knickers, or tops showing their bellies.
Dang I wish parents would be parents and take some responsibility.

Reaching Out

Yesterday i had a meeting with one of the pastor's in our church.
For months i had felt something inside of me, needing to speak with her.
But each time i let fear dismiss the idea and went about life.
Until the other day i realised if i don't make the appointment i am not going to go.. and i couldn't skip out on an appointment with the Pastor.

Yesterday i went to the appointment and we talked for about an hour, discussing a range of different things.
And by the time i left i had agreed to see her every 3 weeks for 12 months.
Our discussion wasn't bad, but it was deep.
I felt like i was able to talk, and that she was listening.
By the time i left the appointment i was able to process what we had spoken about and look forward to building a relationship with my pastor.

Yes i think having a relationship with your Pastor is important.
This is the first church i have attended full time, and it has taken 11 months to make an appointment to really talk to a Pastor.
I am proud of myself.

Because yesterday i wanted to advoid the appointment, but i challenged myself in.
I was honest, upfront and told her how i felt (even that i was scared of being there).

In the next 12 months i can see myself hopefully working through some things with the Pastor, things to prepare me for the future, for my marriage, for my life.... Spiritually, emotionally and mentally..

Lachie Is 2

Hi everyone.
Most of you know by now that Lachlan turned 2 on the 19th september.
On sunday the 17th september we had a lunch for him.
Allan came to church and came over for dinner.
Lami cooked a heaps yummy roast lamb and potato bake.
Lami also made the birthday cake.. YUMMY
It was a marbeled mudcake... *gets hungry at the thought*

And then he got weirded out about the snake..
I think he thought it was a live worm.. lol

And then the present from Allan.

I will post some again soon some more pictures from on his actual birthday, i just have to put them on the computer :o)

I can't believe my little man is 2 already..
I love him heaps though!!!
Even when he gets me grumbly..

Engaged

On saturday the 9th september 2006, I got engaged.
It was one of those moments a girl dreams of.
Except maybe i was a little bit too nervous!!

I got to the train station and seen Allan waiting with a rose.
He told me he had something very important to ask and then led me from the walk way.
He got down on one knee with the rose laying in his hands and asked me to marry him!!!

Of course i said yes..
Being a rather introverted person it was a full on proposal.
I felt the eyes of the strangers around me.
But i managed to look at Allan and pretend he was the only one there.

For me my head is spinning and my heart is full.
I love Allan so much.
Most of all i am thankful to God for bringing Allan into my life.
I knew it was all with his timing, i guess it is as they say.. when you least expect it.

I am going to say thank you to Lami also.
Babe your a sister and a best friend to me.
You are a beautiful Princess and i appreciate everything you are doing within mine and Allan's life.
(((hugz)))

At the moment Allan and i are looking at getting married in October next year!!

We Are Family

It was almost 3 years ago that i decided to live for Christ, to change my life around and follow the plan the Lord has for me.
That involved big changes to life style and a willing attitude to change.

A year ago i wrote a poem about my husband in the post FUTURE.
I was open for change and ready to be prepared for my husband.
I am very happy to share with you that on saturday the 19th August 2006, God revealed to me who my future husband would be.
Not only did he reveal to me but confirmed it within the spirit of my best friend.

After praying last night God told I was to tell Allan sooner, rather than later.
I clearly felt that it had to be in the next 2 days.
This made me really nervous as I didn't know how I was going to approach this.
How to reveal to a person how I felt about them and what God had said.
But I knew it was something I had to do.
God made it clear that because I had told Allan a while ago that we were only to be friends, that Allan would not approach me as he respected me to much.
Once again God spoke to a friend of mine and revealed that I had to tell Allan today, to set his mind at ease.

After my nerves had calmed down i rang Allan and told him of the revelation God had placed on my heart.
He has had revelation from God that i would be his future wife!
As of this afternoon we are offically courting....

I am so happy.
I know that this time i have fallen in love with the right man, i have fallen in love with the man God has for me.
This is a feeling of love that i have never felt before for another male, a reserved love in my heart for my future husband..

With the newness of this love comes many new emotions, excitement, happiness and apprehension.

I never knew this would happen so fast, but i am happy.
I am excited about little things such as holding hands and conversations.
Thank you to God who has brought us together.
I knew it would happen in Gods Timing...

It's so exciting to think it in my turn now...

Transformed

Over the last 12 months i have felt myself be transformed.
Transformed from a girl who was scared to discover who she was, a girl with inner wounds & scars constantly challenging herself to fit in with the others.
To a beautiful young lady, embracing womanhood, parenthood, my relationship with God and all of the challenges that life brings..

I have always had an issue with saying "No" especially when it came to males.
Since living for Chrsit i have only been confronted by the issue of men wanting more than what i can give them twice. The first time was about 9 months ago, a male kissed me and i felt to weak to say no, so i let it happen. Things went to far, and i personally lost and suffered alot because of it - others were hurt.

Yes i was attracted to the body of the male i mention above, he wasn't unpleasent to the eye.
Now when i see him, i only see a confused young man.
I only ever thought this man was physically attractive and never did i think anything would happen - nor did i prepare myself.

I was living for Jesus Christ, but i am a sinner.
I never realised at the time, but i had a desire that hadn't been fulfilled.
That desire could only ever be filled with the love of Jesus Christ.

That day was a real wake up call to me, i spend many of days in tears literally.
I can't begin to descibe the unworthiness i felt as i presented myself to God and recieved prayer.
Once again i was "white as snow", my sin wiped clean.
But just because my sin was wiped clean, it hasn't given me amnesia as to what happened - it was a life changing moment.

It was only last week i was faced with a similar situation.
Lami and i took the kids into the city to meet a friend of mine, i had been talking to my friend for 5 months online and we agreed to meet at Word bookshop.
I was very cautious with the way i presented myself, as he was a male and i didn't want to give the wrong impression.

We shopped, had lunch and shopped.
Before leaving me at Toys R us he asked permission to give me a hug goodbye, permission was granted. I gave him the half Christian hug, but as he moved away he went to kiss me.
I quickly placed my hand on his chest making space between us and said No, he apologised and i felt respected.

I never stopped and hesitated about saying no, because i knew for that kiss to take place would be wrong. I might add my friend isn't sleezy guy and he is nigerian.
This experience has left me happy, i feel like finally i have been able to stand up for what is right, and what i felt in my heart. God has transformed me and revealed many things to me over the last 12 months.

I never thought i would be faced with the situation of a young man wanting to further a relationship so soon, and being faced with the situation has only made me press into God even harder. I am glad i was respected, it makes me respect him as a friend also. I have made it clear that God will reveal who my future husband is, and when he does that i will embrace it- but only when God does. Until then it is praying and waiting.

Birthday

In 3 weeks i turn 21 years old.

When i spoke to mum today she was upset.
She said the nursing home thinks Dad probably won't be coming home for my birthday.
Because his sugar levels are still really high etc..

*cries*

I understand that it for his own good if he needs to be there.
And i really do want the best for him but it hurts so bad.
My 16th birthday my dad wasn't able to celebrate with me due to sickness and circunstances.
My 18th birthday i was young happy and celebrated with some friends.
But for my 21st i was looking forward to celebrating with Dad there. It meant alot.

Prayer is powerful and in 2 days i have had 2 prayers answered.
Praise God.
I am just praying now Dad improves enough to come home..

Failsafe

Today i started my little man on the failsafe diet.
I really knew nothing about this diet and still am just starting to learn.
I brought a folder yesterday to keep all the information in.. HAHA

It is hard work, and i do appreciate the work of Lami- who does the shopping.
But i hope this is what works for Lachlan.
His behaviour has reached a point where something had to be done.
Hopefully it is the food he was eating causing his behaviour, because then it can change..

It's been hard for me and everyone i live with.
Lachlan's behaviour at times has had the ability to drive you up the wall.
In a way i feel sorry for the little guy, if it is the food that has been the cause he has been in so much trouble at times...

I'll let ya'll know if his behaviour improves :-)

No More ABC

Not many of you know but i have withdrawn Lachlan from his Childcare.
I was unhappy with the way he was being looked after.
When i went to pick him up from childcare he was sitting at the fence crying, he was sitting alone and no one approached him to see what was wrong. I could see both the carer's clearly. One was sitting on a log and the other was holding a settled baby. It broke my heart to see my child crying and being neglected.

I removed my son from care straight away, but he still was traumatised.
It took alot for me to get the courage to trust people with my son, and that trust has been squashed. I will only leave my son with people i know and trust now.

Last week at church he refused to go into the childrens program. He held onto the door and cried. Then i left him and Lami could hear him crying in church so she went and checked and then i went back. He wouldn't let either of us leave, and cried just about the whole time we were at church...

I pray that soon the trauma he has experienced is healed and his heart restored.

Moments

In our lives there is a time when we look and question ourselves.
We question ourselves on our body image, our clothes, our finances and many other things.
I confess i do all of the above things at times.

I have looked in the mirror and seen a image caused by my distorted mind at that time.
I have cried at times i have felt sad because i thought i never looked pretty enough.
I have gotten upset because i never had the clothes i wanted, or never had money to buy them.
I spent alot of my life doing these things, worrying about stupid pathetic things.

On the way home today, i walked with the sun beaming off my skin.
The warmth embraced me and i smiled freely with happiness.
For a moment in my life i let go and just enjoyed what i had.
Life felt perfect for that time i let go.
I was pushing my very own son, who was being good at the time.
I was wearing nice clothes and never felt self concious.
I felt beautiful, and as i took a deep breathe i breathed in the love of God.

God had been waiting for me to step into him.
Waiting to embrace his daughter..

I found some notes i will share with you.
(to each person these notes may mean something different, open your heart and let the holy spirit guide you to what they mean for you)

1. Choose to be a leader.
2. Choose to be a buider.
3. Choose to restore.
4. Choose to do what is right.
5. Choose those who influence you.
6. Choose to seek God.
7. Choose to be inspired.

Lord,
I have made mistakes, i have been unchrist like in area's of my life. I pray i will become more Christ like and Christ focused and not self centered.
Amen

~Feeling~

I am feeling darkness around me
There's a sadness in my heart,
My eyes sting from kepping tears in
Consealing them behing a mask.

The walls are closing in
I am finding it harder to breathe,
I try to work through my mess-
The best way is on my knees.

I keep reaching for God
Everytime i feel lost,
Trying to stretch forward
Fighting the force that's keeping me back.

Revelation

I actually enjoyed the church service very much today.
The worship was good and the preaching was good too...
I actually had a personal revelation that came with Pastor Paul preaching.

There were two things involved in my revelations today, they were parenting and death.
A baby was dedicated in the church today, and the passage read was Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
This was a word given to me not long after i had Lachlan, by a friend of mine. I had forgotten about it until today. God revealed to my heart habits that need working on in my life, because the habits we have in our lives can be passed to our children. Also the qualities i want my son to see in his Mum. So, yes i do need work. I don't expect to be perfect but it would be nice to act on these revelations.

The other thing Pastor Paul spoke about today that really hit home was forgiveness and judgement. Now i will confess. I have been scared of death as far back as i remember, and even since i was a christian that fear remained. Topped with more fear about being Judged by God. They way i seen it was i was going to be infront of all of these people, being judged for all the wrong things i have previously done and will do in the future (we all sin).

All this time i have worried myself about this, why was i not thinking about the fact i am forgiven? I am saved! My debt was paid with the blood of Jesus Christ. His death wasn't for nothing, it was so I could have life. When i get to Heaven i have no reason to be scared.

I feel a huge weight lifted from my shoulders, because i realise the things i was worried about are things i have been forgiven for. Things i have truely repented for. When i get to Heaven i am not going to be punished and other things... I am living for Christ, I made a choice. He died for me, now i chose to live for Him!